How My Dog Is JUST LIKE A Man

1. He misbehaves even though he knows I have no problem putting him out–he literally runs out of the room when I say “Out.”
2. After I put him out, he sneaks back in when I’m not looking trying to see if I’m still mad. Sometimes he actually puts his head down and looks away as though that makes him invisible.
3. When he’s bad, he immediately tries to smooth things over by giving affection. This can include trying to lay his head on my chest.
4. If he makes me really mad he’ll go away for a while and then come back later and act like nothing ever happened.
5. He brings me things I don’t want (dead fish heads or trash), and if I don’t pretend to like them, his feelings get hurt.
6. He unintentionally and unknowingly takes more than he gives.
7. He walks around looking for shit to get into and won’t rest until he finds something.
8. When he meets girls, he immediately tries to hump them.
9. Once he realizes he can’t destroy something, he doesn’t want to play with it anymore.
10. He’s aggressive towards most men, friendly to some, but LOVES every woman he meets.
11. He loves anyone who brings or gives him food.
12. When he doesn’t want to do something he pretends to be sleeping or too busy eating.
13. When I leave the house he pretends to be upset when really he can’t wait for me to leave so he can sleep or do his own thing.
14. After being reprimanded repeatedly for making the same mistake he is still confused about why I’m upset
15. When he doesn’t like something I’m doing he’d rather sigh, moan, and groan instead of just getting up and leaving the room.
16. He relaxes by playing with balls—this can include tennis balls and footballs as well as his “natural’ ones.
17. He knows he’s too cute to stay mad at.
18. He always feels affectionate in the morning jumping on the bed with me wanting to be petted and hugged; he’s also really aggressive with it trying repeatedly after being shot down. Usually, I give in to his advances after he keeps trying but on those days when I refuse, he cops an attitude and leaves the room.
19. He doesn’t want to play with anyone bigger than him.

and finally…

20.  Every kid needs one in their life!